Then, Now, and Someday

A few months back, when I was feeling desperate, exhausted, and unhappy that my life as I knew it was over, I made a list. Two lists actually. Things I could do now. And things I could do again in the future.

On the “now” list was obvious child-related things like “take care of the twins as best I can,” “stimulate their development,” “meet up with friends and babies” and the like. Real easy-going ideas. Also included were me-focused things like “read a book I’ve always wanted to finish,” “take twins to nursery at gym and work out,” “try out new recipes,” etc.

My “future” list included enrolling in a pottery class, something I did for years and loved. Travel with my new family. Consider career options.

Obviously, these are things I knew in my head, but seeing them written out on paper gave me some structure to my despair, and reminded me that, yes, a future does exist.

Last week I began one of the “do-nows” that I’d been avoiding … I started taking tennis lessons. Well, a beginners clinic, but some sort of instruction, nonetheless.

We joined a club last fall, just as I began the IVF cycle, and the doctor’s instructions include no vigorous exercise and no potentially body-impacting sports. Of course, I stuck with those instructions through the duration of my pregnancy. You know, to avoid premature labor or complications. Fat lotta good that did me.

Anyway, I’ve been twice, and I love it.

And I especially love the just-graduated-from-college tennis pro.

Yum.