So now I'm waiting for an IVF consultation appointment. At least I was able to get one for next Monday, and don't have to wait forever. He said it had to be before Day 20. So does that mean we'll get to start right away? I know clinics all do it differently, so we'll see.
I knew it would come to this ... I knew it! Plus, I had a horrid dream last night about giving birth to eight babies. It was a gruesome dream in many ways, but suffice it to say, birthing eight children is horrible enough.
On the bright side, I think I've prepared myself pretty well. As mentioned below, I'm an info-whore, so I've got plenty of facts and figures stuffed up in my brain. And a library of books that the most learned librarian would be impressed with. Speaking of ... I should be getting that delivery from B&N today.
I don't even have to say the words for J to understand. I just came downstairs this morning, mumbled "We need to talk" and burst into tears. The translation was pretty clear. Over the past two years (more specifically, 26 cycles), I've managed to keep myself together pretty well. I only have a serious whining-super-sobbing-snotty breakdown (1) when my period arrives and (2) when I have to deal with the indignity and selfish unfairness of sticking myself with needles. But today, man, it was a double dose.
I thought I'd pulled myself together, so I dialed Dr.E's office to report the not-so-happy news. I barely got through the first sentence before I choked up and went super-sobbing-snotty. Just trying to spell my name for her was trying. Lovely ladies that work there, though, really. She immediately said she was so sorry, told me it was too early in the morning for so many tears, and to go get myself a big cup of coffee and a bowl of ice cream.
Considering I've been on the no-caffeine kick for the past month (little good that did me), I didn't head straight for SB like I usually do, but did enjoy a lunchtime treat with fully-caffinated Diet C and three (okay maybe four - but small) pieces of yummy pizza. A decent band-aid.
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3 comments:
Laura-
Do you write for a living? Your journel entry was very well written and entertaining to read (please don't take this wrong) even though it was on a sad subject.
If you do not, maybe it is something to consider.
thank you so much! I actually used to write a bit for a city magazine, and always have a bit for work (marketing & PR). I've really missed it in the past, so this is an attempt to get back in the swing of things. Again, gracias!
You're too nice, thank you. I'm enjoying just writing a little bit...it's kind of theraputic. Plus, I don't need to drag a big ol' journal around in my bag now ... my shoulder is already sore from all my magazines :-)
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